As you’re quickly growing up, it won’t be long before society starts to infiltrate your beautifully innocent mind and begin to fill it with skewed perceptions and inaccurate portrayals of what it means to look like a woman and be a woman. This will start the moment you go to school, watch a television show, or even eavesdrop on a conversation between adults. It will be so subtle your child’s mind won’t even realize it until the damage is done.
You see, you have been given a superpower. And with superpowers come great responsibility. You have the ability to grow a human life within your own; feeding and growing and loving that baby from the moment of conception. You have the innate ability to nurture and love without reservation, to forgive and to find that perfect balance between emotion and logic. Because you have both. Don’t let anyone tell you differently, got that? Just because you can tune into your emotions and fully feel and embrace a plethora of them does not mean you lack logic or reason. You can hone both and in doing so, hone your superpower.
As you hit puberty and your body changes, you’ll learn that your superpower not only applies to your own personal growth and gifts but that you can bring a man to his knees and you have body parts that, or some reason or another, can drive a man wild. This is part of the superpower you need to wield with caution.
The relationship between man and woman has been a delicate, primal dance that is still a mystery to most of us.
Women are beautiful, as you will be yourself someday. Being a women will always mean being beautiful in any body because it is a beautiful experience to be a woman. We are soft and curvy, delicate and strong. We are tall and short, large and willowy. We are brunettes and blondes, redheads and black haired ravens. We have breasts and a vagina and a womb. We are smart and kind and loving by nature. We are sisters of the Earth, united in our physiology and our compassion.
But because we have this beauty that differs from men, we scare them. For centuries, women have brought emperors and kings and laymen and merchants to their knees. Lust is a heavy emotion, one clouded by swirls of pheromones. It makes both sexes do crazy things. And love, well, love isn’t rational or logical. It triggers both the beautiful and ugly parts of ourselves to emerge. It can bring out the best in us or the worst. For these reasons, we’ve been labelled vixens and sirens and harlots (to name a few) by the men of history. As years passed, our body parts became sexualized and exploited, demeaned and shamed. At some point it became mainstream to judge another’s clothing and partners, their faces and their preferences. Women have become demoralized. We make less than men in the same profession, fail job interviews based on our looks and are expected to look a certain way. I hate to mention that it does not matter what we wear, we are “purposely” tempting someone, somewhere, somehow.
I write this to you not to scare you but to empower you. Use your women superpowers to take back the divine feminine. Use your powers to forgive the transgressions of the past and embrace your beauty in all its glory.
Find this beauty within yourself. Look in the mirror daily and thank the powers that be for your journey in your body and appreciate that body. It’s a gorgeous piece of art.
Do not look to a boy or man to fill your cup. Fill your own with an abundance of self-love and self-acceptance. Don’t be like younger me; don’t put all of your energy into making the boys like you in order to find self-worth or value. It doesn’t matter if he’s the captain of the hockey team or the chess champion, he can’t like/love you like you can like/love you. Love yourself first so that when you do meet someone who strikes your fancy, you are bringing a delightfully full cup of knowledge, kindness, courage and confidence. Trust me, that’s more attractive than cleavage or thigh gaps.
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection” -Buddha
There’s no shame in being alone either. You don’t always need to have a boyfriend or fling on the go. Be independent. Find hobbies that interest you. Grow your mind and your soul; the beauty will follow closely in their wake. A real man will appreciate your intelligence regardless of your breast size.
Dress appropriately and be true to your style. Wear whatever the hell you want but be classy about it. Pants showing off your butt crack or wearing shirts too tight your breasts spill out is not appropriate at any age. Respect your body and garb yourself in clothes that compliment it, not bare it.
Demand the right kind of attention. Dancing half naked in a nightclub while drunkenly making out with your girlfriends will not garner you the kind of attention you should want. Be better than that. Instead, have good posture. Speak with kindness and stand up for those who cannot. Be kind, loyal and loving to all, especially to your fellow sisters; you don’t know their stories. Avoid gossip and judgments. That’s the kind of person who will attract abundance, success and joy in their lives.
I end this letter, daughters, with a piece of advice: your superpower is powerful. If you use it properly, you will change the world for the better. Wield it carefully.