A Letter To All The Babies Who’ve Left Us Too Soon*

*originally published here. Dear Baby, We miss you terribly. To even use the word terribly doesn’t do justice to the gaping hole that’s permanently etched into our hearts, our souls, our psyches. We thought it’d scar over and we’d move on in some unnatural way but it hasn’t. We don’t know if it ever will. … Continue reading A Letter To All The Babies Who’ve Left Us Too Soon*

I Invite You to Get Over Yourself

“I invite you to get over yourself, Kelsey” the counselor said to me. Excuse me? I thought. Who knew those eight words would change my life. Those eight, little words opened a door to a world I didn’t want to explore but knew I needed in order to heal. In July 2014 I was a … Continue reading I Invite You to Get Over Yourself

Beliefs and Butterflies

I believe all beings are connected to a Source, a cosmic energy, a consciousness; whatever you want to call it, I know you know what I mean. Call it energy or vibes or a gut feeling but the human five senses aren’t all we have. There’s so much more. Everything on Earth is a tapestry … Continue reading Beliefs and Butterflies

Sex is Sad

When you think of sex, what comes to mind? Passion? Intimacy? Fun? Orgasmic? Pleasure? Loving? Dirty? Forbidden? Lustful? Wrong? Beautiful? When I think of sex, most of the time I think, “ugh.” And I sigh. Because trying to conceive over and over, month after month without success turns sex into work. It’s like going to … Continue reading Sex is Sad

My Response To The “F*ck It” Moms

Recently there’s been some blog posts floating around on social media touting the whole “f*ck it” mentality. Have you read these? The ones that say that no Mom can live up to the expectations that have been set. That no Mom can do it all. That no Mom can do the cloth diapers, the organic … Continue reading My Response To The “F*ck It” Moms

To the Women Suffering in Silence

To the Women Suffering in Silence, I struggled with infertility for a long time before finally getting (unexpectedly) pregnant and having a successful pregnancy. Since having my daughter, however, I have had four back-to-back miscarriages. I started blogging about my experiences after my second and worst miscarriage. This blog became like a warm country kitchen … Continue reading To the Women Suffering in Silence

The Sound of Your Heart Breaking Sounds Like This

Two weeks ago, I was pregnant. Two days ago, I was not pregnant. Miscarriage #4 came and went as quickly as Fall seems to come: sudden and beautiful only to end way before you've had your fill of the reds, oranges and yellows. We decided we were ready to try for another baby. I felt … Continue reading The Sound of Your Heart Breaking Sounds Like This

Becoming The Change I Wish To See

If you are just jumping in on this blog, I'm Kelsey and I struggle to conceive. Wait no, I can conceive I just can't carry to term. I'm not sure what's worse: not conceiving at all or getting pregnant and miscarrying every time. I digress; that's another topic for another day. Anyways, to save you … Continue reading Becoming The Change I Wish To See

Why I Don’t Cry Over My Infertility Anymore

When I was first told as a teenager that I'd probably never conceive, I didn't care. I was a teenager hellbent on partying and then partying some more. Besides, I never had a maternal yearning to ever have kids. I never connected with them. Even spending time with my friend's kids felt foreign and awkward. … Continue reading Why I Don’t Cry Over My Infertility Anymore

When One Period Feels Like A Thousand and Twelve Periods Feel Like A Million

Where I live (Saskatchewan, Canada) a couple must actively be trying to conceive (ttc) for a year before their family doctor will refer them to a specialist or request any tests done to determine if there’s any problems. An entire year of ttc feels like a lifetime especially when you’ve made the decision that you … Continue reading When One Period Feels Like A Thousand and Twelve Periods Feel Like A Million