Uncategorized

Motherhood: The Form Fear Takes

Fear takes an unusual form in my world. It’s a dark, unmoving shadow in my periphery. If I try to trick it and look quickly in its direction, it disappears. But it’s always there. Lurking. Seeping into my mind like early morning fog. I never knew this fear before motherhood. It’s a fear of Life… Continue reading Motherhood: The Form Fear Takes

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Pregnancy and Motherhood

Peeing in the Dark

I’m pregnant. I’m shocked. I’m scared. I’m slightly devastated. I’m slightly excited. After five years of actively trying to have our son (who is ten months old today) we didn’t think this would or could ever happen. Between my endometriosis and nursing- I thought we were safe with the ole pull out method. Clearly my… Continue reading Peeing in the Dark

Anxiety/Depression · Uncategorized

When The Past Sneaks Up and Kicks You in The… Anxiety

The only way through anxiety is through the anxiety. You literally have to go through it: feel it, experience it, abhor it, resent it, accept it and then move through it. You have to go through the feelings. I believe anxiety is our minds way of telling our bodies something is wrong. We haven’t been… Continue reading When The Past Sneaks Up and Kicks You in The… Anxiety

Self-Love/Self-Acceptance · Uncategorized

Then The Tears Come: A Lesson in Tragedy, Perspective and Love

My husband tells me I’m surrounded by tragedy. I know too many people who’ve faced terrible circumstances. I laugh him off: I run a fertility charity, of course I know tragedy. I know tragedy intimately both from my own life’s journey (and those I love) and because I am the type of person people want… Continue reading Then The Tears Come: A Lesson in Tragedy, Perspective and Love

family · self-help · Self-Love/Self-Acceptance

Healing Generational Trauma

I’ve been hesitant to share this story, partially because it’s ongoing but mostly because it’s not fully my story to share. But it’s a story of generational trauma and family and unconditional love: things every single one of us can relate to in some way or another. It’s a story that has affected me my… Continue reading Healing Generational Trauma

body image · Pregnancy and Motherhood

How Pregnancy Affected My Body Image

When I became pregnant with my miracle rainbow baby, I weighed in at whopping 167lb which, on my five foot frame, put me in the obese category. Add in the four miscarriages I’ve had and that has created a toxic cocktail of self-loathing these past few years. With miscarriages and other forms of fertility issues,… Continue reading How Pregnancy Affected My Body Image

Pregnancy and Motherhood

All The Things I’ve Forgotten

Having two kids five years apart means I’ve forgotten a lot about the newborn stage. My memories are playing tricks on me because I remember my firstborn’s first few months to be easy, relatively quiet and rather uneventful. But I’m sure that’s wrong because my second child’s habits are reawakening old buried memories of five… Continue reading All The Things I’ve Forgotten

fertility

The Five Best Ways to Support a Friend’s Pregnancy After She’s Miscarried

Miscarriages are never easy. Whether it’s a chemical miscarriage or a late miscarriage, the pain can be equal: it’s devastating and heartbreaking. Perinatal losses aren’t talked about as much as baby loss and it’s because we have this cultural narrative ingrained in us that says, “don’t announce your pregnancy until 12 weeks” and “miscarriages are… Continue reading The Five Best Ways to Support a Friend’s Pregnancy After She’s Miscarried

Self-Love/Self-Acceptance

Two Cents Tuesday: Sitting in the Dark

When I was a little girl, I was afraid of the dark. I had a repeated nightmare of my house catching fire and everyone perishing. I’d be running frantically through the fire, dodging falling debris trying to save my family while simultaneously trying to find a way out through smoky vision and darkness. The fire… Continue reading Two Cents Tuesday: Sitting in the Dark