After someone I know saw an Instagram post of mine the other day where I shared my overwhelm and frustration of a bad day (made worse by a bad week), I received an email from this person telling me: “this is the time in your life to give up all your own extra-curricular activities” and… Continue reading The Liberation of “CareTooMuchItis”
Author: Kelsey Connell
A former journalist trying to make sense of infertility, motherhood and Life in all its beautiful, chaotic glory.
I Cannot Be Broken
I thought I was broken during my fertility struggles. I was emotionally and mentally in pieces and my body? Well, It wouldn’t do what I wanted. So it was broken too. Nothing was going to plan therefore everything was broken. As I crumbled, things around me crumbled. The engine in my car blew, my daughter… Continue reading I Cannot Be Broken
UnTangling The Knots: The Other Side of Motherhood After Infertility
Since June 10, 2019 I’ve been in knots in a tug o’ war between my logical mind and my emotional self; a back and forth between guilt and awe, fear and joy. I know too many women who would give anything to be in my place right. My six year old daughter dances through the… Continue reading UnTangling The Knots: The Other Side of Motherhood After Infertility
Motherhood: The Form Fear Takes
Fear takes an unusual form in my world. It’s a dark, unmoving shadow in my periphery. If I try to trick it and look quickly in its direction, it disappears. But it’s always there. Lurking. Seeping into my mind like early morning fog. I never knew this fear before motherhood. It’s a fear of Life… Continue reading Motherhood: The Form Fear Takes
Peeing in the Dark
I’m pregnant. I’m shocked. I’m scared. I’m slightly devastated. I’m slightly excited. After five years of actively trying to have our son (who is ten months old today) we didn’t think this would or could ever happen. Between my endometriosis and nursing- I thought we were safe with the ole pull out method. Clearly my… Continue reading Peeing in the Dark
When The Past Sneaks Up and Kicks You in The… Anxiety
The only way through anxiety is through the anxiety. You literally have to go through it: feel it, experience it, abhor it, resent it, accept it and then move through it. You have to go through the feelings. I believe anxiety is our minds way of telling our bodies something is wrong. We haven’t been… Continue reading When The Past Sneaks Up and Kicks You in The… Anxiety
Then The Tears Come: A Lesson in Tragedy, Perspective and Love
My husband tells me I’m surrounded by tragedy. I know too many people who’ve faced terrible circumstances. I laugh him off: I run a fertility charity, of course I know tragedy. I know tragedy intimately both from my own life’s journey (and those I love) and because I am the type of person people want… Continue reading Then The Tears Come: A Lesson in Tragedy, Perspective and Love
Healing Generational Trauma
I’ve been hesitant to share this story, partially because it’s ongoing but mostly because it’s not fully my story to share. But it’s a story of generational trauma and family and unconditional love: things every single one of us can relate to in some way or another. It’s a story that has affected me my… Continue reading Healing Generational Trauma
Letting Go of What Others Think
Well, you can take the blog away from the writer but you can't truly take the writer away from the blog. I missed writing. I missed this blog. I was on the fence about returning for awhile. I had to do a lot of soul searching as to my reasons for quitting and… Continue reading Letting Go of What Others Think
How Pregnancy Affected My Body Image
When I became pregnant with my miracle rainbow baby, I weighed in at whopping 167lb which, on my five foot frame, put me in the obese category. Add in the four miscarriages I’ve had and that has created a toxic cocktail of self-loathing these past few years. With miscarriages and other forms of fertility issues,… Continue reading How Pregnancy Affected My Body Image
