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The Sound of Your Heart Breaking Sounds Like This

Two weeks ago, I was pregnant. Two days ago, I was not pregnant. Miscarriage #4 came and went as quickly as Fall seems to come: sudden and beautiful only to end way before you've had your fill of the reds, oranges and yellows. We decided we were ready to try for another baby. I felt … Continue reading The Sound of Your Heart Breaking Sounds Like This

Becoming The Change I Wish To See

If you are just jumping in on this blog, I'm Kelsey and I struggle to conceive. Wait no, I can conceive I just can't carry to term. I'm not sure what's worse: not conceiving at all or getting pregnant and miscarrying every time. I digress; that's another topic for another day. Anyways, to save you … Continue reading Becoming The Change I Wish To See

Why I Don’t Cry Over My Infertility Anymore

When I was first told as a teenager that I'd probably never conceive, I didn't care. I was a teenager hellbent on partying and then partying some more. Besides, I never had a maternal yearning to ever have kids. I never connected with them. Even spending time with my friend's kids felt foreign and awkward. … Continue reading Why I Don’t Cry Over My Infertility Anymore

When One Period Feels Like A Thousand and Twelve Periods Feel Like A Million

Where I live (Saskatchewan, Canada) a couple must actively be trying to conceive (ttc) for a year before their family doctor will refer them to a specialist or request any tests done to determine if there’s any problems. An entire year of ttc feels like a lifetime especially when you’ve made the decision that you … Continue reading When One Period Feels Like A Thousand and Twelve Periods Feel Like A Million

Fall in Love with Your Body: Release the Guilt and Eat the Damn Chips!

The time has come for us to lay down the Weapons of Body Destruction and throw up our arms in Victory. You know what I mean, right? The weapons. Of body destruction. The scale is the biggest one. The diet books are another. The "get slim quick" pill. The wraps. The cellulite blasting lasers. Basically … Continue reading Fall in Love with Your Body: Release the Guilt and Eat the Damn Chips!

Mommy, Slow Down, You’re Going Too Fast

It was those seven words that hit me in the chest like the descent from the tallest roller coaster. My stomach dropped, my heart sped up and quite frankly, my mind was blown. My daughter meant it about the tire swing she was on but I heard a completely different statement. I was going too … Continue reading Mommy, Slow Down, You’re Going Too Fast

The Shame That Tags Along With Anxiety

I have anxiety and mild depression. Just reading that sentence brings tears to my eyes. Why? Because I am filled with shame. I know shame well; we've become close these last few years. When I started experiencing bizarre and unexplainable symptoms that made me feel like I was dying, my lungs were collapsing and/or my … Continue reading The Shame That Tags Along With Anxiety

Quiet On The Net Waves

I try to post every Sunday and at least once during the week and if you've been following this blog you'll see I've been slacking. Here's why. I am a part-time wreck. While my day-to-day life is kicking ass and going well, internally I'm in the midst of a battle with my heart, mind and … Continue reading Quiet On The Net Waves

Handling Pregnancy Fear After A Loss

I originally wrote this when I found out I was pregnant in January with hopes of selling it to a certain publication. Since it's now posted here, you will see it was not accepted. I had no plans of ever posting it or trying to sell it again because soon after receiving my first rejection … Continue reading Handling Pregnancy Fear After A Loss

Why I Cried Turning 32

My birthday was last Friday and maybe it was the previous night's scotches or the five hours of sleep I was running on or perhaps the imminent arrival of my period but I woke up as a weepy, morose 32-year-old. Why? Most women have their worst birthdays on the ones that end with a zero. … Continue reading Why I Cried Turning 32